Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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