A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
