just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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