The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
