One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
