did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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