So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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