The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
