I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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