i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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