How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
