I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
