Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he told me I talked like a deaf person
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
