So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
