Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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