so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
