I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
