I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
