I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
vagina is talking i cant
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
40s are totally the cure
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
