me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
