I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
