He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
