so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
