you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
