My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
