DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize