isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
