1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
