So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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