He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
