listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize