You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
