just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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