this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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