If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
