Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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