Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
