Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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