she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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