I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
