yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
