Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
