Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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