I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
