sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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