We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
