i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
3 2 1 whiskey
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
