Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
