just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
