meet me or not, i'm out of control
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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