5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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