he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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