I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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