I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
