Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
