you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
