ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize