where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
