Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
