she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize