dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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