i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
