i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
